This post may contain affiliate links meaning I might earn a small commission if you click on the link to make a purchase but it doesn’t cost you anything. Thanks for your support!
It’s almost been a year since I’ve lived with my parents and moving back to Hong Kong. I can’t believe how fast the time is going since 2020 went by so slowly. It’s already almost mid-October. A lot has changed in the past ten months. I moved halfway across the world and went from living alone to living with my parents again. Living at home in your 20s sure will teach you a few lessons.
These are the truths you will face when you move home.
1) Getting Used to Your New Normal
The first bit of actually moving back in with your parents will take some time to get used to. It will feel as if time-reversed and you’re back to your 16-year-old self in high school except…you’re not.
Going from living by yourself to moving back in with your parents will be especially tough in the beginning. You were so used to doing whatever you wanted. There was no need to report to anyone about your plans. If you wanted to come home at 1 am, you can. If you wanted to stay in the whole weekend, you can as well with no one to bug you. Ah, those were the days.
You now have to be mindful of your parents because you’re no longer by yourself all the time. There will be an adjustment period for both sides. For you, it’s getting used to telling them what you’re up to and for them, it’s an extra person living at their house. Even though I’m their daughter, they’ve gone years without me living with them. Having an extra person in the house again is going to be weird at first. Just like it has been tough for me to make some adjustments as well.
2) You Won’t Be Bored
I lived by myself and with roommates. Living by myself wins by far because I like the feeling of having the place to myself. My roommate can be quiet and I won’t even hear her make a sound but I only feel truly comfortable when I know it’s me alone at the apartment.
Living by myself was freeing but it can get boring. Living with someone else means that you can knock at their door whenever you feel like it and have late-night chats. I do this with my parents. We also make plans on the weekends like going to my grandpa’s house for dinner, going shopping together, or eating out at restaurants. This is exactly what happened when I went to One Harbour Road to eat a few weekends ago. You can easily have company when you want to do things.
3) You Can Do Things Together Last Minute
Another perk of living together is not having to always plan everything. I’m 100% a planner. I like to schedule plans in advance but we can’t plan every minute of our life.
Living with people means you can be more spontaneous. Want to go grocery shopping to buy some ingredients to try a new online recipe? Hold on for a minute. Let me go grab a coat and then we can head out.
It’s not that you can’t hang out with people on a whim you don’t live with but the situation is a bit more complicated. You gotta text or give them a call first to see if they pick up. Then, you’ll have to schedule where and when you’re going to meet. Living together means I can walk to the living room while one of them is on the couch and ask them if they want to go grocery shopping.
4) Getting Annoyed About The Little Things
When you’re with someone all the time, you’re bound to get annoyed. That’s with anyone including your dearest parents. The little things will start to get irritating.
For example, my parents want the dishes to be washed immediately after a meal. I like to take my time and leave them in the sink for a few hours. If it’s not washed immediately, they’ll think I’m slacking off or low-key passing the chore for them to do. It’s not true. I just prefer to wait before washing up.
Is this the biggest deal? No. But when you’re tired from work and want to relax, you don’t want to listen to your parents nag you about doing the dishes.
5) Having Different Life Habits As Your Parents
I love staying at home. My home is my sanctuary but my parents love to go out. They feel lazy when they lounge around at home all day. My mom especially. She mentioned several times how she doesn’t know how I went through the hotel quarantine because it will drive her insane.
She’ll always try to lure me to go out with her. It depends on what it is but sometimes I just want to stay home and do nothing all day. Is that a millennial thing?
They also love to exercise. One of the really good things about my parents is that they’re always down to exercise. My mom goes to the gym or does hot yoga practically every day while my dad swims. I, on the other hand, prefer to walk more and do YouTube dance workouts. Since they don’t agree with my way of exercising, we clash on this. A lot.
As you get older, you’ll realize you’ll have differences with your parents. It might not be stark clear when you were a teen but you will find out soon enough.
6) Acknowledging Your Parents Are Getting Older
When I was in Boston or Toronto, we never do Facetime video calls. We don’t have the type of relationship where I talk to them every day. It’s usually more like once a week through WhatsApp audio. I don’t see their face and they don’t see mine so I don’t think about how much they’ve aged.
It’s a different story when they’re in front of you. I see their laugh lines getting deeper, having more sunspots, and their hair getting grey. It’s a bit startling because it’s weird knowing that your parents are getting older. When you were young, you don’t really think about this. It was only after moving back in with them that I realized how much they’ve aged.
Seeing this in front of you makes me happy about moving back in. I get to spend more time with them than I otherwise would.
7) Being Interrogated
My parents try their best to leave me alone and I appreciate that. They understand that I’m an adult now so it’s not like they can say no if I’m telling them I’m staying out late. It’s the questions after I come home that can really get on my nerves. My dad generally doesn’t ask me any questions but my mom fires them at me like a cannonball.
She will want to know where I went, who I was with, and if I bought anything. I understand she comes from a caring place but there will be moments where you do not want to answer. I try to be patient as much as possible but my answers can be abrupt sometimes.
If your parents never asked about you and your plans, you will wonder why they don’t care. Although you are a grown adult and your parents know that, they will always consider you to be their baby. Don’t be so hard on them when they’re trying to show that they care.
8) Saving Money on Expenses
You get to save the biggest expense that most people would have to worry about: rent/mortgage. I don’t have a house so there’s no mortgage but rent is hands down one of the biggest expenses you will incur. And it’s not something I have to worry about. It’s really nice.
I thought that without having to pay rent, I’ll save a ton more money. Wrong! You’ll find your money leaving your wallet easily if you don’t watch it. There are so many things you can spend your money on such as eating out, buying pre-loved luxury goods, buying trinkets from cute gift stores, and buying affordable clothing.
You don’t have to stop spending money completely but bear in mind that just because you save money on rent doesn’t mean you’ll have an endless pile of money.
For example, if it’s a luxury item you have your eye on Vestiaire Collective, you can still buy it but save up. Be wise about what you’re spending your money on.
9) You’ll Feel Envious
Although more adults are moving back to live with their parents, a part of you will probably be jealous of your friends that live by themselves or with a significant other. It’s safe to say that a good amount of people aren’t exactly excited to move back in with their parents in their 20s. You’re supposed to be an adult and do adult stuff. Be independent and be free! Except the people around you are doing just that while you’re with your parents.
The feeling of envy is bound to come out once in a while but keep it in check. Being envious of other people’s living situations will not change yours. Remember that you get precious time with your parents. When you do move out of their place eventually (and I think most of you will), you’ll look back and appreciate the extra time you had with them. I hate to say this but your parents will not live forever.
10) Having Less Privacy
This goes with living with anybody other than living by yourself but you’ll have less privacy especially in Hong Kong, where they are known for their small spaces.
It can be hard to rest comfortably because you can hear everything going on. Houses in Canada, on average, are way bigger than the ones in Hong Kong. You might not be able to hear everything that is going on all the time but you will be able to when you live in Hong Kong.
I’m almost always on alert because it feels like my parents will call my name any second.
That’s when my earphones come in handy. I love listening to music especially when I want some alone time or when I’m in a bad mood. When my earphones are in, it feels as if it’s just me and my music in the world. It’s an addictive feeling. I even listen to music when I’m journaling.
11) Being Their Go-To Tech Person
My parents do use WhatsApp and Microsoft Office so they’re not terrible at technology but that’s basically the extent of it.
A few months ago, HK citizens were encouraged to get COVID vaccines. The government and other organizations pretty much went full out with incentives. There were hundreds of prizes which includes coupons and taels of gold. The most impressive one was that you could win a house. It didn’t happen to me (bummer!) but my parents wanted me to register on their behalf. It was a pain to go on each company’s website to type the same info over and over again. I feel like I was applying to my first job all over again.
Since my generation grew up with technology, many of us are probably decent with all of this. I’m nowhere near an expert level but I can generally figure things out on my own. Having a blog helps immensely since there are tech sides to this.
If you’re someone in your 20s and is moving back in with their parents, they will also likely ask your help when it comes to technology. It’s something I forgot about until I lived with them again. Who was their go-to tech person before me then?
Final Notes on Moving Back Home
I had no idea how much I had to say before putting all this content in this post. This idea floated in my head for a while because my best friend and I had a conversation the other day about her moving back in with her parents temporarily. Our conversation inspired me because I realized moving back home in your 20s is more common now than ever. Especially with everything going on in the world and I don’t see this pattern going away anytime soon.
Have you ever moved back in with your parents before? Or thought about moving back home? How was your experience?